I was taught to care for others first and not myself. I was given baby dolls for Christmas instead of cars as I wanted. I have always hated the idea of little girls playing around with dolls. The idea of little girls having to care for others and not the boys just didn't sit well with me. I did not know why I hated it but looking back, I just knew that taking care of others was a setup and found it unfair that my little brother got toys he could have fun with and not have to take care of like a parent.
I was told to marry well since I had specific taste in clothing. There was little faith in me, but to ensure that when I got married, I would be a good wife. A Latina by 13 (average) should know how to cook and clean and do it well. In essence, I was raised to serve the man, the husband, the house, the children (nothing wrong with this), but no one prepared me to serve myself first!
At 32 years old, I had decided to focus on ME, loving me. At 32, I did some mirror work with a spiritual psychotherapist, and she asked me to say, “I love you,” while I looked in the mirror. It was the hardest thing to do ever.
We, men and women alike, fall in love with other people so easily and legitimately will look at their good and ignore the red flags in hopes of a future with them.
Why can't we do the same for ourselves?
I am happy to report that since I looked in the mirror and said, “I love you, Lillian, I have been falling in love with myself since then and the life I live. I have become very comfortable being in my own company and enjoying the times I sit in reflection or simply alone.
I do love Lillian, and I challenge you to fall in love with yourself.
Learn to serve yourself.
Learn to truly love yourself.
So the same way Mel Robbins suggests you high-five yourself (believe that you can and celebrate what you have done), I challenge you to say, “ I love you” in the mirror until you do love yourself.
Lillian likes to share her thoughts. Sometimes her experiences are shared here and on her podcast; True Lessons
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