The triple a method of healing trauma

The Triple-A Method for Trauma Healing

1. Awareness 

Study everything you can about yourself and your trauma(s). 

• Read books to become informed about trauma in general, your trauma responses, and ways to heal. A suggested list is below.* 
• Listen to podcasts … Not everyone likes to read or has the time to finish books but a lot of us spend a great deal of time with earbuds in our ears so use some of that time more effectively during the healing process. A suggested list is below.** 
• Therapy/ Coaching .. Talking to professionals allows a person to unravel some confusion that may have been looping in your brain. The answers for which we seek clarity are usually found within ourselves, so talking it out with the right guidance helps us discover breakthroughs we may not have by simply discussing with friends and family who may be biased. 
• Journal! Write out what you cannot find the words to describe aloud. Writing has been noted to be extremely effective when processing information. Our brains process information differently when we write our thoughts onto paper, hence the higher writing scores for those who draft on paper first (and at least prewrite as a tool on paper before typing). 

Awareness allows you to gain clarity on the trauma(s) you have endured and how you respond to them. Understanding yourself gives you access to the rest of the world. For you to understand others, you should know yourself best. 


2. Analysis 
Once you have learned about yourself and your trauma response(s), take the time to break down how your trauma has manifested in all the areas of your life. Ask yourself these questions to help guide this step of your healing… 

1. How has my trauma affected my friendships?
2. Do I carry myself as a victim of my trauma?
3. Was I ever acting like a victim of my trauma?
4. How has my trauma impacted my work-life?
5. How has my experience helped me grow or not in life?
6. How would life be different if I had not experienced trauma?
7. Has my trauma caused me pain or has my response to my trauma affected me most?

When we decide to look inward, we are allowing ourselves to take charge of our healing. While it is not our fault that we were traumatized, it is absolutely our responsibility to heal from it. 
Don’t believe the bullshit about hurt people hurting people. Hurt people can heal people and that is the narrative that we should all learn to love and practice rather than excusing poor behavior due to trauma. We are not allowed to hurt others because we were hurt by hurt people. If you have come to this point in your life where you are searching for healing, then understand this- you are not allowed to excuse toxicity because of what has happened to you. Healing brings forth change. If things don’t change, your mentality, your behavior, and your surrounding energies (physical/relationship dynamics, in cuddling the one with yourself), healing has not ensued. 


3. Acceptance 
The final step to healing is accepting that what happened to you was meant to teach you something. Accepting that everything that has happened was meant to bring you to the point of diving enlightenment is simply the world’s intervention. Radical acceptance is the acknowledgment that life is as perfect as the one you are living today. Why do we have to experience trauma to be grateful? The short answer, is we don’t. Long answer, we don’t. Yet, we have free will. We all are born with the ability to choose. What choice will you make? The same one your aggressor(s) made? Or will you choose to break the cycle of pain and trauma? 


Healing requires you to change the narrative that whatever happened to you was about the aggressor and not about you. Only your trauma response is about you. Society recognizes 3 commonly known trauma responses: Fight, flight, or freeze. A fourth and more subtle response is the emotional response to trauma, the FAWN response. I would like to add the 5th, the Freeing response. Once you have learned how you originally dealt with trauma, and have broken down how it has interfered with your life and your purpose, then it is time to accept the reality of the past pains and free yourself from them. 


The freeing aspect of a trauma response is not acting as if it never happened to you but knowing that was 1. Not your fault. 2. Trauma happens to all. 3. You are not alone. 4. You can choose to help others but helping yourself (first)is key. Trauma is a permanent injury that may need therapy at times. New relationships or dynamics can expose your trauma differently.  Healing from trauma is constantly having to revisit yourself (your faults, your responses to them, and wanting to do better). However, trauma is experienced differently by everyone. Learn what strategies work best for you. 


This Triple-A effect is a summarized version of ways to heal but the world is abundant in medicine. Let’s change the narrative about the world being dark and gloomy. The universe is only as dark as you want to see it. Let’s shift the perspective and find the ways we can heal from within. 


                                               You cannot heal what you don’t reveal.


* Suggested Books -

1. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel A. van der Kolk
2. Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty
3. How to do the Work by Dr. Nicole LePera
4. Untamed Glennon Doyle 

** Suggested Podcasts-

1. On Purpose with Jay Shetty
2. Unlocking Us with Brené Brown
3. The Man Enough Podcast with Justin Baldoni, Liz Plank, and Jamey Heath
4. The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes

Freeing myself in Malibu California, Oct. 2021. The sea kept reminding me of how beautiful life can be depending on how you look at it. Stop running into sadness and away from joy.