The Triple-A Method for Trauma Healing
Once you have learned about yourself and your trauma response(s), take the time to break down how your trauma has manifested in all the areas of your life. Ask yourself these questions to help guide this step of your healing…
When we decide to look inward, we are allowing ourselves to take charge of our healing. While it is not our fault that we were traumatized, it is absolutely our responsibility to heal from it.
Don’t believe the bullshit about hurt people hurting people. Hurt people can heal people and that is the narrative that we should all learn to love and practice rather than excusing poor behavior due to trauma. We are not allowed to hurt others because we were hurt by hurt people. If you have come to this point in your life where you are searching for healing, then understand this- you are not allowed to excuse toxicity because of what has happened to you. Healing brings forth change. If things don’t change, your mentality, your behavior, and your surrounding energies (physical/relationship dynamics, in cuddling the one with yourself), healing has not ensued.
The final step to healing is accepting that what happened to you was meant to teach you something. Accepting that everything that has happened was meant to bring you to the point of diving enlightenment is simply the world’s intervention. Radical acceptance is the acknowledgment that life is as perfect as the one you are living today. Why do we have to experience trauma to be grateful? The short answer, is we don’t. Long answer, we don’t. Yet, we have free will. We all are born with the ability to choose. What choice will you make? The same one your aggressor(s) made? Or will you choose to break the cycle of pain and trauma?
Healing requires you to change the narrative that whatever happened to you was about the aggressor and not about you. Only your trauma response is about you. Society recognizes 3 commonly known trauma responses: Fight, flight, or freeze. A fourth and more subtle response is the emotional response to trauma, the FAWN response. I would like to add the 5th, the Freeing response. Once you have learned how you originally dealt with trauma, and have broken down how it has interfered with your life and your purpose, then it is time to accept the reality of the past pains and free yourself from them.
The freeing aspect of a trauma response is not acting as if it never happened to you but knowing that was 1. Not your fault. 2. Trauma happens to all. 3. You are not alone. 4. You can choose to help others but helping yourself (first)is key. Trauma is a permanent injury that may need therapy at times. New relationships or dynamics can expose your trauma differently. Healing from trauma is constantly having to revisit yourself (your faults, your responses to them, and wanting to do better). However, trauma is experienced differently by everyone. Learn what strategies work best for you.
This Triple-A effect is a summarized version of ways to heal but the world is abundant in medicine. Let’s change the narrative about the world being dark and gloomy. The universe is only as dark as you want to see it. Let’s shift the perspective and find the ways we can heal from within.
You cannot heal what you don’t reveal.
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Lillian likes to share her thoughts. Sometimes her experiences are shared here and on her podcast; True Lessons
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